I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You are the jesus of drinking
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
