My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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