nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
