Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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