Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
