i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
There's always time for handjobs
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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