Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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