I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
