Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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