There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
