The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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