i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
