Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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