these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize