we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize