I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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