how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
