Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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