well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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