when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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