My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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