Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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