i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize