Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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