they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
