Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
