He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
thus making me awesome and them whores
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Randomize
