Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize