I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
