if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
