I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
