WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
