Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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