just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
