you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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