Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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