im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
How does one acquire holy water?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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