im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Drunk walkin through police station. America
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
