Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
