your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Randomize
