He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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