I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Randomize
