you turned your livingroom into a bong?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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