none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
