My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
