He is an equal opportunity slut.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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