HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
