btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
please come you make the beer taste better
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
