You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
