Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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