I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize