you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My feet surprised me
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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