good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
