Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The struggles of a small town man whore
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
