you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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