Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
