Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Damn victory sex feels great
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize