yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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