I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
