I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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